How The Brethren Are to Reconcile in Christ in Times of Conflict

The Holy Scriptures writes:

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." (James 5:16)

"Bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." (Colossians 3:13)

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:1–2)

"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23–24)

“If your brother sins against you, go and speak with him, the two of you alone. Tell him plainly what he has done wrong. If he listens, you have won him back. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that every word may be set in the mouth of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, bring it before the assembly. And if he will not even heed the assembly, treat him as you would a foreigner or a tax collector.

Truly, I tell you: Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Again, I tell you: If two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in My name, I am there among them.” (Matthew 18:15-20)

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We confess in the Eighth Commandment (Luther’s Small Catechism):

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

What does this mean? We should fear and love God so that we do not tell lies about our neighbor, betray him, slander him, or hurt his reputation, but defend him, speak well of him, and explain everything in the kindest way.

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Therefore, if there is a grievance between members, as Christians, we will follow Jesus' instruction, as recorded in Matthew 18. Approaching fellow members with complaints, accusations, or gossip without adhering to the given biblical process reflects sinful pride. It undermines the unity of the body of Christ.

When such a Christian meeting is not centered on prayer, confession, and absolution for reconciliation, it ceases to reflect the character of the Church. Therefore, any such matters will be referred first to leadership and, if necessary, to the congregation for the exercise of church discipline per John 20:22-23, the Office of the Keys (Small Catechism).

In summary, the proper protocol for addressing offenses or complaints is as follows:

1. Ask, "Have you spoken to the potential sinner directly about this?"

2. If the individual is unwilling or unable to meet, the matter may be brought to the attention of the church leadership.

3. Finally, if a godly resolution is still not reached, the issue may be brought before the Board of Directors, provided all parties involved are present to address the matter. No private meetings where the potential sinner is not present to make his/her defense are permitted by God’s Word.

This approach ensures that all concerns are addressed biblically, with humility, and in the spirit of reconciliation.

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Meditation: The Church falters when Christians refuse to pray, confess, and reconcile in conflict, but Christ’s unyielding mercy calls them to lay their grievances at the altar and be made whole.

The Church begins to fray when the tongue runs untethered. When you call a brother your foe yet never kneel beside him in prayer, what hope does the rift have to heal? When the heart swells with complaint yet refuses confession, it grows hard, crusted with the pride that begs no pardon and offers none in return. Christians who will not bend to pray together in discord are not merely at odds with one another; they are at odds with Christ Himself, who bore the strife of the world that we might bear one another in love.

Sin loves the dry ground, the unyielding place. It thrives where forgiveness is withheld, where one soul casts another aside as unworthy of peace. This is how the powers of darkness deepen—not with grand blasphemies but with small, unspoken grudges, each brick in the wall that hems us in. When repentance falters, and absolution is refused, the Church stumbles into ruin, not because it has been persecuted but because it has forsaken the gifts that make it strong: the prayers that cleanse, the words that free, the love that binds flesh to bone in Christ’s body.

But He remains steadfast. The voice of the Gospel does not shrink when His people fail to speak; the mercy of His cross is not diminished when we turn from one another. His call stands: that we, forgiven much, forgive one another much more. Christians who will not confess and reconcile cannot rightly wear their Savior's name, yet He still beckons. "Come," He says, "bring your quarrels to the altar and leave them there. Be reconciled and be healed." The Church is not a place for perfect saints but for redeemed sinners, gathered in the dust and ash of repentance, built up by His mercy into something whole, something holy.

+Pastor Gillespie